This Is Our Experience

So much happened yesterday, son. I went in for an ultrasound and I saw you! Just chilling in the corner of your little sac lol! My tiny nugget. I was so nervous until I took a glimpse at the screen and there you were. Afterwards, I made a pregnancy announcement and it exhausted me lol. I received a ton of love, but I also got some insane backlash. Nothing that I'll ever worry about, but it was kind of funny. I can't wait to teach you how to ignore people and be unbothered, like me. That's an imperative life skill lol.  So far, your growth isn't causing me any morning sickness, but it's definitely making me hungry and tired. When I get energy, I dance for exercise. I've been trying to rest, doctors orders, but its hard.  I love you.  I am sooo focused right now. Literally everything I do these days, I do with you in mind. I'm about to eat some late night dinner. ILY!! P.S. These are some of my telepathic thoughts to you that I think about throughout my day. I...

 My world is always taking care of me. 

Hey there! I keep calling you "son" because I strongly believe you're a boy. I went back to the hospital today and basically I have to go every 2 days to make sure you're developing properly. So far, so good. They keep poking me up with needles, one of my phobias. I had an Uber driver today named Bernard. That was your grandpas name, he passed away about 10 years ago. I feel like ever since he told me in a dream that I was pregnant with you, he's been making it his duty to show me he's my guardian angel. I'm so honored to be your mom, you're gonna hear me say that a lot.  The other day I cried myself to sleep, and I prayed it didn't affect you. I felt like a burden, I was triggered. The next morning I decided to lock in and keep working on strengthening my self concept. I have so many people in my life who absolutely love and appreciate me, I'm a pretty awesome girl, and these are the things that I must remind myself when I feel down. Don't...

Confusion, gratitude, love, fear.. This feels like it's going to be a long journey. I knew you were coming, and I denied it until I couldn't anymore. Still pinching myself to make sure I'm awake.  What's incredible to me is that I always thought if I ever unintentionally became with child that I would be deeply depressed and quite literally go insane, but after the initial shock wore off, I felt the total opposite. It's like the Universe spoke directly to me. I could hear my spirit loudly, "This is divinely ordained, not a mistake. This baby has a big purpose here. You will be divinely guided and protected." I changed immediately. My body is now your temporary Temple and I promise to treat it as such. I feel motivated to exercise again. I'm already fixing my diet. I'm planning on moving into a bigger place. I'm always trying to be 10 steps ahead, but I'm a Virgo, and so are you :) Your existence makes me feel like I have a big purpose now t...