This Is Our Experience

Hey there! I keep calling you "son" because I strongly believe you're a boy. I went back to the hospital today and basically I have to go every 2 days to make sure you're developing properly. So far, so good. They keep poking me up with needles, one of my phobias. I had an Uber driver today named Bernard. That was your grandpas name, he passed away about 10 years ago. I feel like ever since he told me in a dream that I was pregnant with you, he's been making it his duty to show me he's my guardian angel. I'm so honored to be your mom, you're gonna hear me say that a lot.  The other day I cried myself to sleep, and I prayed it didn't affect you. I felt like a burden, I was triggered. The next morning I decided to lock in and keep working on strengthening my self concept. I have so many people in my life who absolutely love and appreciate me, I'm a pretty awesome girl, and these are the things that I must remind myself when I feel down. Don't...

Confusion, gratitude, love, fear.. This feels like it's going to be a long journey. I knew you were coming, and I denied it until I couldn't anymore. Still pinching myself to make sure I'm awake.  What's incredible to me is that I always thought if I ever unintentionally became with child that I would be deeply depressed and quite literally go insane, but after the initial shock wore off, I felt the total opposite. It's like the Universe spoke directly to me. I could hear my spirit loudly, "This is divinely ordained, not a mistake. This baby has a big purpose here. You will be divinely guided and protected." I changed immediately. My body is now your temporary Temple and I promise to treat it as such. I feel motivated to exercise again. I'm already fixing my diet. I'm planning on moving into a bigger place. I'm always trying to be 10 steps ahead, but I'm a Virgo, and so are you :) Your existence makes me feel like I have a big purpose now t...