This Is Our Experience

This year I decided to cut ties with a few people. I began to realize how insignificant these relationships were and how they no longer align with who I am, or who I'm becoming. Of course, the human in me loves the human in others, and I do appreciate the experiences I've shared with people that I have connected with.. but when it's time to leave, it's time to leave.   Some of the reasons why I stopped giving people access to me Being taken for granted People getting comfortable coming in and out of my life as they choose Connections that feel meaningless Connections built on weak or superficial foundations Boundaries not being respected or taken seriously Un-equal exchange of energy (Pouring into people, but not being poured back into) Feeling drained after interactions I think I've always noticed these things, but as of lately, it's been more prominent to me. When you're always available to people who don't appreciate you, you are doing a huge disservi...

I started my celibacy journey because the idea of casual sex suddenly felt disgusting (to ME, I obviously have no room to judge).  I've been single for over 5 years, but once in a while I wouldn't mind having "a night of passion" with an old fling or two. Out of the blue, I developed a sever case of the ick. The thought of meaningless sex made me cringe. I don't regret any phases of my life, but I'm more than thrilled to be done with that particular phase and I'm excited to be in this new chapter! What I've learned so far With sex off the table, other things are highlighted and magnified. Red flags are more visible. I've started to get clear about what I really want out of a relationship and how I want to be (and deserve to be) treated.  My discernment is enhanced. I peep the nonsense immediately. I can easily separate who loves me from who lusts me. People who genuinely care about getting to know me and being apart of my world will stay around whe...

Albert Einstein said "Insanity  is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” I believe we all learn this the hard way. You cannot keep up with the same, beliefs, thoughts, habits and behaviors and expect for a different outcome to show up in your life. If you work at the post office 30 hours per week and you're not satisfied with your paycheck, you can't just continue going to work 30 hours a week and expect to see a difference in your paycheck. Nothing changed. But if you pick up more hours a week or apply to a higher paying job, then you will see an increase in your paycheck.  Do something different to see something different. I don't care about comfort zones. Comfort zones eventually get uncomfortable. We have to do what we have to do in order to experience the life we deserve. If you needed a sign, here it is! Lol Peace and love 

Today, I am grateful because I've realized that suffering does not have to be my teacher anymore. Pain, hurt and grief builds character, but trauma lingers around as well. Abusive relationships have made me strong. Fake friends have made me cautious. Rejection has humbled me and I appreciate all of this, dearly. But... I deserve to grow from a place of love, not agony. I deserve healthy relationships with genuine kind hearted people. I deserve quality experiences. I no longer agree with struggling through life and settling for the cards I've been dealt. I may be a flower from concrete, but I'm aware that I belong in fresh soil. I am changing my story.  I'm grateful today because I am not yearning for better. Instead, I choose to be better. 

When we have repetitive experiences,  our minds begin to believe that we will always get certain results in certain situations.  For example, if you continuously apply for jobs, but the employers never call you back, most likely you will start to believe that you have "bad luck" regarding employment. You might become discouraged and stop filling out job applications all together. "Faith" is a term that I became familiar with when I started to attend church. Although that was almost a decade ago and I no longer attend church,  I never let go of the concept of faith. I have faith in my ability to create the life I want.  Learn how to detach from outcomes. Try not to be too specific, but instead,  be flexible about how and when you will recieve your desires. For example if you decide you want an extra $500, don't say "I want to win the lottery on blank date". When you do this, you are creating limitations. Remember, possibilities are endless! Yo...

I absolutely love listening to people talk about their problems (I'm not even being sarcastic). Many people face the same problem, and that is caring way too much about how others perceive them. People internalize everything other people say to them, say about them, or even the things they think   people are thinking of them! Here are some of my thoughts about this "problem". 1. Why would you let someone tell you about yourself, when a lot of these folks don't even know who THEY are?? 2. No matter how rich, poor, attractive, unattractive, popular or unpopular you are, someone will have something to say about you. 3. The only person you need to impress is YOU! 4. We live in an opinionated society. Some people have nothing better to do than gossip. 5. Don't feel angry, feel honored. 6. This is YOUR life to live. You're not a puppet. 7. Standing in your truth inspires people to stand in theirs. 8. Own EVERYTHING about you, even your embarrassing moments...

Sometimes, we might meet a person, find them attractive, funny and smart, and automatically want a romantic relationship with them. Only to realize later, after much trial and error, that this person is not "relationship material". This happens with friends, family, business partners, etc. Upon meeting people, we have to really get to know them. That means allow them to come as they are. No interference. No assumptions. No expectations. Let people be exactly who they are. If they are the type of person you wouldn't mind having in your life, you can choose to allow them in. Just because a person may have some characteristics that you want in a partner, does not always make them qualified to be your partner. The better you get at assigning people the right roles in your life, the better you can connect with people. You'll look back and think, "If only I had known that the guy I was seeing a few months ago was better off as a business partner, we would probabl...

Our subconscious minds respond strongly to repetition. This is why people use affirmations and audio subliminals when they want to reprogram their subconscious. We can deliberately program our minds, but most people are consuming unfiltered information, repeatedly, without realizing they are being conditioned. Did you know that we can program emotions and reactions as well? When you tell yourself a story over and over again, with the same emotions behind it, you are programming it into your mind.  Whenever this story is mentioned or thought of, your mind and body will instantly react out of habit .  "He hurt me so badly, I will never be the same." These are powerful (and detrimental) words to tell your subconscious mind. Your heart is in fact healing and you're ready to move on, but you've already told your mind numerous times that this isn't possible. This leads to confusion. We start to convince ourselves that we are damaged and suffering from trauma.  The...