What my abstinence/celibacy journey has taught me so far.

I started my celibacy journey because the idea of casual sex suddenly felt disgusting (to ME, I obviously have no room to judge). 

I've been single for over 5 years, but once in a while I wouldn't mind having "a night of passion" with an old fling or two. Out of the blue, I developed a sever case of the ick. The thought of meaningless sex made me cringe. I don't regret any phases of my life, but I'm more than thrilled to be done with that particular phase and I'm excited to be in this new chapter!

What I've learned so far

With sex off the table, other things are highlighted and magnified. Red flags are more visible. I've started to get clear about what I really want out of a relationship and how I want to be (and deserve to be) treated. 

My discernment is enhanced. I peep the nonsense immediately.

I can easily separate who loves me from who lusts me. People who genuinely care about getting to know me and being apart of my world will stay around when sex is not an option at the moment. 

People will take your celibacy as a joke and want to challenge it. They will push your boundaries. I stay far away from these people. 

Being STD free, no pregnancy scares, healthy vaginal PH balance and not feeling pressured to wax and shave down there is literally my favorite part of the whole experience. 😂

I feel liberated. My self value has increased. I feel more in control of my life, my body, and who I choose to share my energy with. 

Tips to survive

Block your old flings immediately. No they will not care about or respect your new path. Don't feel bad, I promise you they have other people to fornicate with lol.

I didn't drink alcohol often, but when I did, I did not always make the best decisions. So if you're like me, to prevent sending that drunk "you up?" text to your favorite lover, you may want to abstain from drinking too. 

Keep dates out in public. Avoid Netflix and chilling.

Try to stay clear of music and content that makes you feel frisky. 

Know your "why". Why are you on this journey? Why is this commitment important to you?

Stay in prayer/meditation. I'm not religious, but I believe in a creator. I often ask the Universe for protection and guidance. Regardless of religion, ask your higher self or higher power for help when necessary. 

Final thoughts

I'm grateful that this journey isn't too challenging for me. I believe it will get even easier, like second nature. I feel mentally, emotionally and spiritually stronger. This is one of the biggest forms of self love that I've ever given to myself and I'm pretty dang proud of myself 😁 I will be back in a few months with an update. 

Thanks for reading! -Tesha ❤