A Big Mistake We Make When "Looking For Love"

I've noticed a common pattern among us who are in search of a relationship. We desire to share our worlds with another, so much so, that the moment we meet someone with a good quality or two, we go all in. Often times we're left disappointed. The disappointment comes from imagining the possibility of this person being "the one", without ever giving things a chance to bloom. We immediately make expectations and we fantasize about this person fitting into a specific role, instead of seeing the situation at face value. The worst part is we get angry at the person for not being who we assumed they would be. 

When it comes to finding "the one", we cannot assume. 

When in search of love, indeed you should set personal expectations for what you want out of a relationship. The problem is assuming that everyone you encounter must meet those expectations. Nobody is obligated to meet your requirements. 

Dating is mandatory. This is the stage where you allow people to be who they are, unbiased and prejudgment free. If this person does not measure up to your standards, you can respectfully move on. They have the right to do the same. 

Moving past the dating stage and into commitment, you are still getting to know each other. In an event where you run into a non negotiable (a problem that is not open for discussion), the rules above still apply. 

I say all of this to say, relationships require emotional intelligence and realism. We can avoid unnecessary heartbreak and suffering when we learn to stop making premature attachments. Let it flow. Be neutral. Allow things to unfold naturally. Try not to take it personal if it doesn't work out. What's meant for you won't pass you by. 💕

Peace and love 🥰💗💗