This Is Our Experience

I'm reading a book titled "The Single Christian Woman's Guide" by Russelyn Williams. I am not a Christian, but I'll always appreciate a good book. I believe in taking what I need and leaving what I don't. I'm not finished the book yet, but I want to talk about a chapter I recently read. It's called "Just because you are single doesn't mean you should be available". She compared dating to the Olympics. She says that when athletes participate in the Olympics, they compete for the crown and they understand that there are certain rules and ways of preforming that have to be honored in order to win. People have to be professional athletes to enter this competition. They must be qualified . She goes on to say that the same dynamic applies when dating. We cannot just let any man into our lives. We should have standards and requirements that must be met in order for a man to "win" us. You are the Olympics and your future husband is a ma

In the mist of chaos, you have to be able to take a second to see things from a birds eye view. Look beyond the madness. Whenever I'm experiencing a reality that isn't ideal, I decide to think further than the current situation. I imagine myself already done with the experience, looking back and laughing about it. This is how I remind myself that things always resolve, with time.  How many times have you been in situations where you felt like you couldn't possibly go on? Scared, heartbroken, stuck. But here you are, still living your life. I'm sure that situation is either a crazy memory or doesn't feel as bad as it did initially.  I say all this to say, when things get difficult, look beyond your circumstances. Have faith that things will subside, things will go in your favor and you'll be just fine ❤

This year I decided to cut ties with a few people. I began to realize how insignificant these relationships were and how they no longer align with who I am, or who I'm becoming. Of course, the human in me loves the human in others, and I do appreciate the experiences I've shared with people that I have connected with.. but when it's time to leave, it's time to leave.   Some of the reasons why I stopped giving people access to me Being taken for granted People getting comfortable coming in and out of my life as they choose Connections that feel meaningless Connections built on weak or superficial foundations Boundaries not being respected or taken seriously Un-equal exchange of energy (Pouring into people, but not being poured back into) Feeling drained after interactions I think I've always noticed these things, but as of lately, it's been more prominent to me. When you're always available to people who don't appreciate you, you are doing a huge disservi

I started my celibacy journey because the idea of casual sex suddenly felt disgusting (to ME, I obviously have no room to judge).  I've been single for over 5 years, but once in a while I wouldn't mind having "a night of passion" with an old fling or two. Out of the blue, I developed a sever case of the ick. The thought of meaningless sex made me cringe. I don't regret any phases of my life, but I'm more than thrilled to be done with that particular phase and I'm excited to be in this new chapter! What I've learned so far With sex off the table, other things are highlighted and magnified. Red flags are more visible. I've started to get clear about what I really want out of a relationship and how I want to be (and deserve to be) treated.  My discernment is enhanced. I peep the nonsense immediately. I can easily separate who loves me from who lusts me. People who genuinely care about getting to know me and being apart of my world will stay around whe

 The past is the past. NOW is NEW.